Terminal Realizations

I'm sitting in an almost empty terminal waiting to board a plane alone for the first time in my life. It's nerve-wracking. All I can think is what if I board the wrong plane? What if I get on the wrong shuttle and instead of ending up in Fort Collins, I end up in Boulder? What if I go to this college preview and discover that I hate the college I've been dreaming about since I was a sophomore?

My brain keeps telling my beating heart that there is no way I can board the wrong plane, and with the detailed instructions on how to get to the shuttle I'll be fine. But what about my college? I've been a California girl my entire life, and now I'm suddenly packing up everything I think I can't live without, and shipping off to an entirely new time zone not to mention state. And how on earth am I supposed to afford the out of state tuition, even with the scholarships I've already received?

The only thing I can think of is all the advice I got while filling out college applications. My family, my friends, and even my favorite teacher all told me the same thing: stay in California.

Go ahead. Ask me. If I was told by everyone to stay in California, why am I flying to Colorado for a Preview Orientation? Well, because for once in my life I ignored all of their advice. And it was the best decision I ever made.

You know that feeling you get when you take a giant leap of faith and it works out better than you ever could have dreamed? That's how I felt about opening my letter of acceptance from this college. That's how I felt about swapping e-mails with my soon to be roommate. That's how I felt about booking these plane tickets to Denver and that shuttle ride to Fort Collins. That's how I feel about this college. That brief moment of pure paralyzing terror that haunts me every time I think about the city I plan on spending the next four years in - that's why I'm sitting in this airport terminal.

The truth is, when you know that something is the right choice for your life, nothing can change your mind. I took a huge risk that I knew would pay off. I still know it. Ironically, the best advice I received was only helpful because I was so adamant about ignoring it. That assurance that I was better off where I didn't want to be only cemented further in my mind the idea that I would find a way to get here. And sitting here, in this airport terminal, with so many questions still unanswered, I know that I am just as sure of this college as I was my sophomore year of high school.